Spiritual Commentary

Union with the Divine, the kiss from one’s Beloved, is the wish of all mystics. Not only because it brings one beatific peace and bliss but also because it brings love into the world. And all who come into contact with the mystic practitioner, as s/he radiates Divine Love, feel this Love. And feeling this Love the human condition is elevated and the world made a better place.


The spiritual practice of emptying the heart of all but Love means love is your response to all the world presents to you; a commitment to renounce the world’s mundane ways and to not become attached to desires that hinder your relationship with the Divine. All the while unconditionally accepting every worldly thing and event as an aspect of the Divine. With this surrender you bring compassion into the world, and also find that love comes to you from the world.

Not the Proverbial Life

Like the proverbial stone thrown into the pond with ripple begetting ripple, quick personal change results in the need for further changes. You are alerted to this by a discomfort caused by challenges emerging from the most recent changes you’ve made. Additionally, this success reminds you of your long-term life goals and raises fears that if you don’t take further action you may miss out, and then never be happy. Both these welcome and unwanted results are unknowingly reinforced within you by the world through social convention, capitalistic corporations, governmental politics, and dogmatic religions. Even those close to you, who wish you well and want the best for you, participate in this operation telling you there is more to do. They suggest what to do, try to persuade you to do it their way, and may even offer to help you do it. But what others and the world do not do is support you in being your unique self. Rather they encourage you to be who they believe you to be. And because they are also under the same worldly influences as you, and are also conditioned to be what world culture wants one to be, they will unknowingly support those goals not your personal ones. It is not possible for it to be any other way; most people are simply not aware of this conditioning and often lack insight into their own unique character and life to be of any genuine assistance to another. Furthermore, others rarely have a thorough comprehension of your values, character, and unique destiny, the information required for anyone to make an informed decision about their life.

To wisely make changes in your life it is important to remember it is a process in which one change leads to another, and then requires yet another. Change occurs in more than just one’s beliefs, feelings, and behavior. Change in these habits results in one’s identity and character also being reshaped. Each change redefines you, even if only slightly, and it is from this new identity that you make the next change required to continue your healing or growth. And with each change you must consider your personality traits in relation to specific aspects of your personal journey. A simple illustration is the need to take the next step after having previously increased recreational activity to increase social time with others. Further personal work may now be necessary to reduce a noticeable increase in anxiety, strengthen one’s confidence and esteem, or improve one’s interpersonal assertion. These secondary efforts are the necessary follow through that support the initial habit change, and make it more natural and regularly occurring in one’s life. The resulting permanent change in personality now supports what is meaningful in one’s life, i.e. active lifestyle, friendships, interpersonal effectiveness, and leads to self-actualization.

Not only does this understanding of personal change produce lasting results, but it also fosters an attitude of living every moment of one’s life on a leading edge of personal discovery. And it grants one further insight into the world, providing an objectively real, rather than conditioned view of it. Together they give one the feeling of newness in every moment of every event in one’s life. With this approach one feels openly receptive to the present, unconditionally alive, and that one is living life as a daily adventure. And most importantly, one secures and is able to live one’s true life and destiny.


What is the origin of your beliefs, values, and goals in life? Consider the significant sources and people who have influenced you.

Who do you trust to give you good counsel about yourself and your life when you need it? What is it that makes you trust them in this way?

When was the last time you attempted to change a habit, only to revert back to it after a brief period of change? Did it become a complete relapse or only a partial one? Explain the outcome.

Consider a habit you would like to change, how you would do it, and how it would feel when the habit is first changed. Then imagine the challenges that would arise upon the initial change in habit, and consider what your strategy would be to prevent a relapse.

Consider three things in your life you wish were different or not in your life. Now consider each one’s exact opposite. Reflect on whether or not these reveal what is meaningful to you, and if they provide some direction for you to live a more fulfilling  life.

(Mind and Behavior)

Positive Changes in Self Resulting from Spiritual Practice

You now understand you are not your body, while respecting that the body-mind-Spirit nonduality is your true identity. And because you know changes in one of these three can bring about changes in the others, you employ this knowledge to create and maintain your wellbeing.

You have come to know how easy it is to relax your body and bring about calmness in the mind, and that sustained meditation or prayer practice leads to feeling peaceful. And now you also use your willpower to bring about calm and/or peaceful feelings as you wish or need.

Because spiritual ritual, especially prayer, chanting, and meditation improve your ability to concentrate, you are now able to focus on a topic for sustained periods of time without your mind moving onto another topic. Along with feeling peaceful, this improved concentration enables you to think through topics more thoroughly, and to notice things of which you were previously unaware.

As mindfulness has become stronger through practice, you are now better able to observe and monitor your thoughts, feelings, and actions as they occur in the moment. Additionally you have an improved ability to observe the effects of your actions, as well as those of others. This internal and external awareness results in you being more engaged with yourself, others, and the world.

Your relationship with the world has changed and you realize how little you really know. Previous assumptions and long held beliefs no longer serve you as well, and you have begun the search for truth in earnest. You find yourself being more open- minded in general, and receptive to others, their ideas and ways of doing things.

With an acute awareness you realize the degree to which there are negative thoughts and emotions in the mind, and have begun the arduous task of controlling them. With the ultimate goal of eliminating these harmful aspects of mind, you now aspire to a higher standard of behavior.

You recognize your present and past psychologically painful experiences. And in doing so you’ve learned to manage, express, and resolve negative thoughts and feelings. You are mastering the art of grieving and have an improved ability to recover from psychological pain and return to wellbeing.

You now live more in the present. Whether good or bad, the past is not denied or forgotten, but is objectified. Your history no longer carries an emotional load, feels like it happened a long time ago, and may even feel like it happened to someone else. There is a new person living the life you call your own, and you are attending to what is right in front of you, experiencing the now and new.

You are now more attuned to what is meaningful for you in this life. You have begun to refuse what only satisfies, instead seeking what is fulfilling. New actions, activities, and friendships replace the old less desired ones as you are guided by your values and authentic personal goals. You feel you are on the path to actualizing your true self.

You no longer believe that the physical world is all there is, motivating you in an earnest pursuit of wisdom regarding reality, human experience, and the Mystery. You have identified and are pursuing your spiritual goals that are linked to your personal worldview based on your chosen tradition(s), experiences, and values. And this pursuit contributes to you having a meaningful life.

You now experience more transcendent states of awareness, e.g. unitive consciousness and supernatural occurrences. Knowingly without undue anxiety or confusion, these are integrated into your spiritual life and transpersonal identity. And so now, more than ever you are aware of the Spirit within.



Four Tiers of Happiness

Most everyone wishes to feel love, peace, and joy: being loved as a member of a group, in relationship with another or the Divine; to feel peaceful because one is free of fear, secure in one’s being, and generally secure in life; and, to experience joy from fulfillment and having what one wants in the form of things, people, or events in one’s life. When living a lifestyle emphasizing personal growth and spirituality this happiness takes different forms depending on one’s primary psychospiritual condition at any given time (see article on this site, Overview of the Transmodern Spirituality Paradigm, https://noperfectom.com/overview-of-the-transmodern-spirituality-paradigm/). Awareness of these variations provides a means to monitor one’s wellbeing and progress, and can also assist one in avoiding insidious pitfalls inherent in the spiritual journey.

Whether just starting out in life or facing challenging problems in living, success defined by society and culture characterizes the first tier of happiness. This includes: accomplishing an improved degree of safety and inner security usually by remedying past psychological conditioning that has left one frightened, constricted and/or angry; securing the right friendships and a loving partner with whom one fits well; and, mastering oneself so one can act in one’s own best interest in all situations thereby achieving what one wants health wise, financially, materially, and interpersonally. A satisfaction with oneself and one’s life has been achieved.

With this success accomplished the second tier of happiness is initiated with a search for meaning, which gives purpose to one’s life. Now love has expanded to accepting oneself, not for being successful or perfect but for being one’s unique self, a whole being living the human condition with all its trials and tribulations. And because one acts from authenticity one makes better choices, resulting in more joy from achieving and/or securing what one wants in life, whether it be relationship, vocational success, spirituality, etc. In this tier, peace is security in oneself and in life. One has come to realize meaningful life resides in the pursuit of one’s dreams, not only in attaining them. One has also learned to not resist opposition to one’s efforts but to pursue the path that is welcoming. And because one remains absorbed in more meaningful activities, inevitable struggle does not steal joy or security because there is an attitude that all experience is life being lived fully and richly. This tier is the happiness of existential fulfillment.

Spirituality, and the accompanying radical change in one’s perspective on reality determine the happiness of the third tier. One’s identity is no longer strictly individual and independent but at times transpersonal. There are more experiences of unitive awareness in which one experiences being in union with other sentient beings and non-sentient objects. There is also a felt-attitude of nonattachment to outcome in the unfolding of life events. With this spiritual worldview there is greater acceptance of life as it is, one remains more present to the moment, less controlling, and experiences more peacefulness. Coupled with other philosophical tenets, e.g. immortality, one feels more secure in an unpredictable universe. Adding to this, but also singularly important is the decreased coveting of material objects or particular experiences. Less dependent on worldly materialism, joy arises from the existential fulfillment of sacred experience lived from the transpersonal identity. Additionally, change in the way one experiences love serves to improve the quality of peace and joy. Now there is a human-universal love for all sentient beings, with others’ behavior and character being less a determinant of loving feelings than in the previous tiers (which emphasize filial and romantic love). This change in love includes an increased altruism and service to others resulting in one feeling more liberated, further adding to one’s joy. Additionally, as part of the stronger transpersonal identity, one begins to experience fleeting times of divine unconditional love. These are moments in which everything seems perfect as it is, and they are characterized by a complete absence of fear. All of which further add to one’s love, peace, and joy at this tier. This is the quality of happiness granted to the earnest spiritual practitioner.

The forth tier of happiness may be succinctly described as nondual being of awakened-enlightened awareness. Identifying with the Source of all that exists, realizing oneself as both the Creator and the created, one knows oneself as both Consciousness and the worldly forms It creates. Love, peace, and joy are divinely unconditional with one experiencing universal perfection, absence of neurotic disturbance and suffering, and the complete liberation associated with sacrifice of self and service to others. One lives from a nondual cosmology of reality including, but not limited to timeless awareness and immortality (see Costeines, 2009). Life is Being (not doing) as one thinks (without thinking), feels (without feeling), acts (without acting). Strictly speaking one is love, one is peace, and one is joy.

These tiers have been described in the present manner to assist in assessing one’s psychospiritual condition and happiness, and to provide some basis to monitor one’s spiritual progress. There are two conceptual qualifications required for the best understanding and use of this information. First, though presented in levels, these forms of happiness may also be understood as holons, levels unto themselves but also simultaneously existing in the other levels to a lesser degree or as potential. This accounts for the variability of experience in which one may primarily reside in one level but at times experience qualities of another. Second, it must be remembered that these happiness levels are elements common to all human experience and that each one of us lives and expresses them in our own unique way and time. One’s circumstances, resources, values, worldview, and life goals determine these details.

By realizing that one’s awareness and behavior are in constant movement within and across these holons one is able to maintain the right perspective on one’s individual-transpersonal identity, character, and happiness. Just because for one moment, one day, or one week one was peaceful and loving toward others does not mean the next moment, day, or week one will be the same. This is the rule of thumb that “what goes up must come down” until a permanent enlightened personality change has occurred. Until then one must learn the personal and unique manner in which this fluctuation in happiness occurs. This is so one can efficiently re-establish the individual or transpersonal happiness of one’s sought after and/or dominant psychospiritual condition. This mandates monitoring, and then managing whether or not one’s choices and experiences contribute to losing, maintaining, or strengthening one’s happiness. This entails reflecting on the various ways in which love, peace, and joy are typically experienced and expressed in one’s life. And this requires discerning if happiness is primarily individual or transpersonal as determined by not only its form but also its motivation and objective. While actions may be similar, e.g. helping another, one’s motivation for doing so can vary, e.g. monetary gain versus spiritual practice without individual gain. This distinction is of utmost importance. Psychological practices are necessary for addressing challenges to one’s personal happiness while spiritual practices have different goals.

These levels of happiness may also be used to provide guidance in avoiding spiritual problems that arise when personal and spiritual happiness are confused, commonly experienced as spiritual bypassing and spiritual materialism. Spiritual bypassing is when one uses spirituality in a maladaptive manner to cope or heal psychologically. Some examples are: cultivating relationship with a deity to replace a relationship one has lost with one’s parents; using spiritual practices to manage one’s negative moods rather than psychologically resolving the dysphoria; explaining away adversity or hardship with a spiritual cliché like “it was meant to be”. Spiritual materialism is similar but differs in that one believes one is acting or progressing spiritually but in actuality is strengthening a materialistic lifestyle or worldview. Some examples are: classic ego inflation of concluding from several extraordinary human experiences that one is better than others; expecting spiritual practice to provide one a life free from adversity and pain, and complaining, feeling like a failure, becoming angry when this proves not to be true; and, believing one is able to materialize what one desires, attributing positive results to oneself, forgetting the Source/God is the Creator. Achieving psychological or materialistic goals with one’s spirituality, rather than practicing spiritually for spirituality’s sake, e.g. for service and/or altruistic, virtuous character, is the defining characteristic of these problems.

Reflection on these ideas while considering basic spiritual principles can enable one to avoid spiritual bypassing and materialism; and prevent these pitfalls from becoming permanent impasses to one’s spiritual development. In spiritual practice the material and psychological are meant to serve the spiritual and collective not increase the individual. And this includes respecting and living by the truth that a spiritual life will include worldly hardship, often seen as a threat to happiness. Nevertheless, while not emphasizing the individual, spirituality may very well provide wellbeing and happiness to one’s life as a secondary benefit. But these should not be the end goal of practice, but instead be used in service of spiritual development: when basic physical and psychological needs are met it is easier to pursue a spiritual life, e.g. a healthy ego is necessary to sustain practice, to transcend independent individuality. Even so, happiness is not to be seen as the true goal of spiritual practice. In fact most traditions prescribe not becoming attached to good fortune, returning blessings to the Source, etc. Rather it is the Source/God, and the manner in which It brings out the best in all of humanity, including oneself that is the overarching goal. Living accordingly requires fearless honesty with oneself so there is keen insight into one’s actions, and an ability to hold to one’s principles while others around one may be acting worldly and/or materialistically. One remains knowing that regardless of circumstance Spirit provides the love, peace, and joy we all seek. As such Spirit is the provider of lasting genuine happiness for oneself, and for all. And when practicing from wisdom, not ignorance, we collaborate with God/Source through the tiers described toward this goal.


Wrong Mind, Right Mind, or Spiritual Mind

After being a psychologist and practicing psychotherapy for over forty years if there is one thing I have learned it is that no one does anything one hundred percent of the time. Even the most anxious person feels calm sometimes, the saddest feels happy, and the coldest acts friendly. Everyone shifts across different states of mind, sometimes out of one’s awareness and sometimes through conscious volition. The latter done through being mindful about the content of one’s mind, and present to one’s choices and actions in any given moment. Everyone has three states of mind to monitor and manage, and if done well will foster personal and spiritual growth. These states of mind may be labeled as wrong mind, right mind, and spiritual mind. And by attending to them one is able to strengthen or weaken them by shifting from one to another as one chooses.

The method being proposed is simple to describe but challenging to do consistently and to master to the point of it being natural. Yet, if one has developed some basic mindfulness and presence skills it is possible to learn and use. The method requires being mindful of these states of mind, what are actually one’s various personae, and shifting from an undesired to desired one: from wrong mind to right mind or from right mind to spiritual mind. One must shift the whole mindset, the gestalt, not only some of the qualities. And when successful one experiences a change in one’s being, feeling that one’s “me” has been altered. Effort is then focused on maintaining the chosen mindset.

The following descriptions of the mindsets are given only to serve one in generating one’s own personal list. One may label them what one likes, but one should avoid being pejorative: maladaptive mind, wellbeing mind, spiritual mind; or, poor mind, thriving mind, waking mind. The three minds are distinguished by their mental, emotional, subjective, and action characteristics. Wrong mind is: mentally self-loathing and negative; emotionally fearful, sad, or angry; subjectively down, feeling inferior, weak, a failure, and a victim. It involves: poor concentration or being spaced out; confusion regarding self and one’s goals; and, aggressive action toward self and others. Right mind is: mentally self-accepting and objective or positive; emotionally neutral, calm, or joyful; subjectively feeling confident, strong, equal, and capable. It involves good concentration and focus; clarity regarding self and one’s goals; and assertion in one’s action for self and/or toward others. Spiritual mind is: mentally accepting self and others, nonattached to outcome and open to what happens next; emotionally neutral, peaceful, and/or loving; subjectively feeling equanimous, expansive and deep, and in union with “other”. It involves: focused presence with higher intuition or direct knowing, clarity regarding truth, and “action without action” assertion that is beneficial and naturally positive regarding self and others.

In many ways this method is one of retrieval. One retrieves knowledge and wisdom, bodily experience, and transcendent experience to either maintain or shift one’s state of mind: whether one is drawing from personal learning or healing, or from one’s spiritual practices one is using what one has already experienced and knows. One rejects the wrong mind, chooses not to focus on it, and volitionally embodies the desired subjective feeling while remembering the valid mental content associated with the right mind. And if one desires spiritual mind, one adds the transcendent qualities of that mind, essentially shifting right mind to spiritual mind.

Embodying the subjective feeling means one maintains or assumes the body posture, breathing, and movement of the desired mindset qualities, for example calm, strength, and/or confidence for right mind. Strength training, yoga, competitive sports, stretching, actually any body postures and movements one assumes throughout one’s day, can provide this if one has already recognized the qualities in them that are being described. Doing this first can provide a mental clarity and objectivity that enables one to either correct cognitive distortions or falsehoods, and/or repeat the positive and useful knowledge one has previously learned. These two steps then move one more fluidly into right action. As mentioned previously, the separate aspects of this process need to occur as one gestalt, practically simultaneously. Of course this is where practice is required.

Spiritual mind is always best achieved from right mind. One does this by remembering one’s formal practice experience. For instance, one can recall and relive in the moment what meditation is like mentally (e.g. not thinking), emotionally (e.g. emotions rise up and pass), and subjectively (e.g. boundary of self feels expanded beyond usual limits). Breathing as if in meditation, praying as one engages in other activities, or even reflecting on spiritual aphorisms are means to move to spiritual mind. One might also recall times when one’s mind was altered into transcendence unexpectedly or without formal practice. This might include remembering a morning sunrise, a peaceful walk in nature, or even aspects of a paranormal experience.

This is not necessarily an easy means to improve one’s mind. However with practice it is a viable means to do so. Mindfulness and presence skills cultivated through practice enable the volitional control of one’s mind as described in this method.

Perhaps most importantly, formal practice on its own will not result in improving one’s ego-existential psychospiritual condition or achieve the transpersonal one. What one does in formal practice must be employed while living in the world; actively controlling one’s mind being the sin qua non of this application if one is to develop spiritually.

Reconsider God in These Seven Ways

God is an unknown Substance that has a memory that remembers everything, has created everything, and continuously creates in all spheres of existence.

Everything that exists is a manifestation of God, but everything is not God, only an aspect of God in worldly form.

God is not a Being unless you believe God is, in which case you will experience God that way through spiritual communications, visions, and events. This is a valid belief, and so forming and maintaining a relationship with God is necessary and can be beneficial.

God creates objects and events without conscious willful volition. It is karma, or the law of consequences, that explains the manner in which God creates. God does not micro-manage, but instead reality reaches a “tipping point” and manifests as determined.

God as Substance (often called Spirit) exists within everything and everybody in varying degrees and in different ways. If you recognize this within yourself you will be guided by God, and will rejoice in doing God’s work in God’s way.

Submitting to, obeying, and serving God results in the paradoxical outcome of liberation in which one lives a life of faith awareness. All of one’s needs are met, one’s life and the world are experienced as perfect, and love abounds.

If you are one with God, you and God will collaborate in creation more than those who do not have that quality relationship with God; if enlightened you and God are One, co-creating the universe, guided by care and love for all.



Delicate is the Love of God

When strong it is a love without beginning or end; irrepressibly expressed it is limitless, and the world changed forever for those endlessly touched by it. Divine Love is more than unconditional love; it is the supernatural love of God. Though similar, it is so much more than the all-accepting love with which most people equate it. It is a bliss in which you have lost yourself in the other and everything else around you. All existence arises and passes in the moment with nothing separate and apart from you. Fear drops away, no longer taking space in awareness; one’s presence is without anticipation, receptivity, or intention. One just “is”, tranquilly resting as enormous peace. Being, you are speechless, with no words coming forth; no need, Spirit will speak when It is ready. Adoration and warmth prevail; coming forth regardless of circumstance, for nothing but beauty lies before you. Perfection is the order of the day and joy the background music. And if shared with another, one is certain the search is over, one’s soulmate has been found, kismet realized.

You’re fooling yourself if you think you can will your heart to love this gloriously, it can only be granted by God. It must come through the grace of God to one who desires such a gift and has sacrificed oneself to the world. Then, above and beyond all else, you must obey and submit to God’s will if you are to have an ongoing relationship with the given grace that sustains this numinous Love. No matter what your religious beliefs or God, worship is now a matter of maintaining God-given virtue and God-directed altruism regarding all others as a means of expressing love to God. Without this worship Divine Love as powerful as it is, will be lost.

If one’s dedication to this worship is weak Divine Love remains fragile, subject to diminishment, and even death by the ways of the world. And the most common, one might dare say most tragic course to this end is to love another human being as if he or she were the rightful sole recipient of this love. To do so means one has romanticized what was Divine, retracted one’s love from God, and become more attached to another person than to God. And in separating oneself from God one loses the grace that had been granted, tarnishing the Light of the Love within. God, who had been shining through you all along, is no longer alive within to recognize Itself in the other, and Divine Love withers away.

(Questions to further assist one in exploring this topic may be found at noperfectom.com)

Reconciled Differences

You and I are not the same person, so I’m sure my god is different from your god. Because of our individual differences all gods are personal and unique, though most do not recognize this, insisting their god is the One. And not even realizing when we agree that our god is the One, we really are not referring to the same god. Oh my!

Not only that, but everyone’s spirituality is different, even though our language and common experiences might agree, and there is even theology that says it is all so real and true. However, no matter its religious origin or degree of concurrence among us, it is personal and unique. We practice differently, we seek different results, and even when in pursuit of the same objectives there are differences we do not discern. Oh no!

Equally challenging, maybe even more so, is that your reality is not the same as mine. It only appears we live on the same planet, in the same universe. We don’t. Though the principles that manifest my world and yours are the same, the result is not; the earth I walk upon, and the reasons I do so are not the same as yours. The good news and the Goodness, lies in the fact that we can agree upon so much when we are traveling such different realities. And though there is a consensus reality we can agree upon, there is much of it we do not. No matter how obvious or subtle these differences are they remain significant, affecting our every action. Oh well!

So the principles of manifestation to which we are all subject require some basic agreement. Primary is that Spirit creates diverse forms, all of Itself though never completely of Itself. Hence there is a Mystery to continually try to recognize but that will never be known. And even though the conclusive truths and personal forms of God each of us believes in will vary, it is necessary that diversity be respected, altruism lived, and love given unconditionally. All God’s true religions and spiritual practices support differing worldviews for their theologically valid truths while discarding falsehoods and misinterpretations. The resulting commonality of Truth, when accurately known, experienced, and lived leaves us all in one world, all of one people, all of one God, All as One. Oh yes!

(Questions to assist in further exploration of this topic may be found at noperfectom.com)



A Comment on Resilience, Happiness, and Personal Growth

Resilience is most often understood as adapting to or coping with adversity or a serious traumatic event in one’s life. One addresses the psychological distress reflected in one’s body and mind, expresses and shares one’s experience, and makes use of support from others. If you examine the psychological literature behind this definition you find another, far more dynamic concept of resilience. It is one rooted in authentic happiness, self-actualization, and spiritual experience, underpinnings from which one can draw, giving depth to one’s resiliency. Experts call this more comprehensive resilience posttraumatic growth (Tedeschi, Park, & Calhoun, 1998) and there are three primary aspects of it that draw upon these roots. These are the inevitable change in one’s identity and self-image, one’s relationships, and in one’s worldview and life philosophy. A “lemons into lemonade” approach in which one is encouraged to be receptive to events beyond one’s control, while responding to them in an actively engaged manner, changing oneself and one’s life as prompted by the adversity and hardship one is facing. Processing experience in this way benefits problem solving regarding the crisis, fosters positive identity change, and contributes to one’s spiritual development.

Authentic happiness has been defined as moments of absorption in an activity that is fulfilling to a person (Seligman, 2002). Happiness is not defined as moments of joy and excitement or as times of lively thrilling activity. Instead, it is transcending self-consciousness, an “in the flow” forgetting of oneself, while engaged in valued and meaningful activity. The other positive elements are nice but optional; “following one’s bliss” is what is important. And because one is more informed about one’s self and life one makes better choices and takes appropriate action on one’s behalf. When life is weighted more toward these fulfilling moments than unsatisfying or painful ones a person is happier. This happiness is the more enduring kind that adversity or trauma cannot steal and to which one can return time and time again. It is also this meaningful activity that further clarifies and strengthens the feeling of being one’s true self, with these insights begetting more truth and happiness.

Maintaining a fulfilling life based on one’s dynamic, self-actualized identity enables one to maintain an attitude of receptivity to imposed change, while supporting non-attachment to one’s personal status quo. A time of crisis in which one grieves one’s losses while embracing the inevitable transformations of self, relationships, and worldview not only strengthens one’s authenticity but also lends true direction to one’s life. And then one is given the opportunity to shape and live out one’s destiny as it evolves, with one being more resilient to feeling personally devastated or that one’s life is ruined. One feels a permanency even in the midst of difficult change, thereby feeling a mastery over the situation. It becomes about who one truly is and what statement one will make with one’s life. This quality response to a crisis improves one’s wellbeing as it proactively prepares one for future unexpected challenging events.

The psychological literature tells us that spiritual and religious models are helpful during times of crisis. They provide a way to give meaning to tragic events by furnishing an established worldview on life’s mysteries from birth to afterlife, helping one comprehend and reconcile to one’s circumstances. Inherent in these teachings are instruction and guidance on action to take to work one’s way through adversity. Now the crisis also presents an opportunity for the individual’s spiritual development. This can range from having one’s spiritual beliefs affirmed and strengthened to the transcendence of one’s individual ego self. One can be moved at these times to know first hand the divine presence that exists within and around all of us, spiritual emergence occurring as personality expands to include this transpersonal condition mind or higher self. Additionally, the resulting state of awareness benefits one by providing an equanimity and uplifted state of awareness that is useful in facing adversity. This experience is faith consciousness, and is sometimes referred to as God/Spirit not preventing adversity or crisis in one’s life but assisting one in seeing one’s way through the adversity.

Individuals have choices when facing troubling times or crises. If the choice is to resist, or in some way deny the truth of the inevitable changes, one remains miserable and the negative effect of a crisis becomes a chronic condition from which one may not recover. But as noted, a crisis can result in posttraumatic psychological and spiritual growth while further strengthening one’s overall resilience. If one’s efforts focus on embracing change the experience can be personally meaningful, leaving one happier than before, and further along on one’s path to authentic happiness and self-actualization. And perhaps further along on the path to self-realization.

(References and questions to assist in further exploration of the topic for oneself may be found at noperfectom.com)